The notion that having sex with your partner is always pleasurable is borne out of unreal instances often encouraged by movies or books. However, in reality, there are several factors that turn out to be major hindrances to a healthy sexual life. Several studies have pointed out reasons why women lack sexual desire and are unable to communicate their needs to their partners. Many studies also explore how sexual dysfunction adversely affects their quality of life and interpersonal relationships

Firstly, a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour tried to assess the link between increased household work and a lack of sexual desire. The researchers concluded that those women who are burdened with household chores and do not receive much help from their partners are most likely to consider the partner as a dependant on them and perceive the division of labour as unjust. They are most likely not willing to indulge in sexual activities in a relationship. These findings suggest that gender disparities are significant and strongly contribute to low sexual desires in women.

Secondly, subconsciously, a lot of one’s sexual behaviour is regulated by societal norms. Another study undertaken by the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy tried to analyse the role of gendered sexual scripts as a potential barrier to women’s sexual pleasure and understand people’s awareness of the clitoris. Societal narratives revolve around men’s pleasure and satisfaction and often undermine the desires of women. The researchers found that there was a lack of knowledge among women about their bodies. Therefore, the study stresses the need to prioritise their needs and desires as well. The study concluded that “gendered sexual scripts might act as sociocultural barriers, hindering sexual pleasure and orgasm in two ways.” On one hand, even if a woman is aware of her sexual desires, the gender-specific roles set by society prevent her from talking about them with her partners. On the other hand, often when women are not aware of their needs, they believe the norms of society to be right.

Thirdly, chronic, recurrent difficulties with sexual responsiveness, desire, or pain that disturb you or strain your connection with your partner are characterised medically as sexual dysfunction. Many women many have had issues with sexual function at some point in their lives, and some continue to struggle. Female sexual dysfunction can develop at any stage of life. Sexual dysfunction in women is manifested as a lack of sexual arousal, pain, orgasmic disorders, etc. Often, you need to seek medical intervention to treat such disorders.

Ways to have a healthy sexual life–

1. Be self-aware– Educating yourself about the problems as well as understanding how your body functions can be beneficial. There are a lot of self-help materials available for every type of sexual issue. You can make use of a few resources to learn more about the issues concerning your sexual behaviour.
2. Take note of your fantasies– This activity might help you examine possible activities you think would be a turn-on for you. Let your partner know of these fantasies. For those who lack desire, this is extremely helpful.
3. Emotional stability and trust– It is crucial to work on how you feel about the person. A positive response can help you feel more attracted towards your partner and increase your sexual desire. Additionally, if you are able to trust your partner to be open about any potential risks in terms of STIs, you can aim for a better sexual life.
4. Positive body image– Women often are uncertain about their looks or have lower self-esteem. This is due to the established societal standards of beauty and femininity. Once you start having a positive attitude towards yourself, you will be more confident in intimate circumstances with your partner.