Let’s Talk Sex | Breastfeeding and Sex: What New Moms Need to Know to Restore Intimacy
In this article, we will explore what to expect with breastfeeding and tips to reconnect with your partner after the baby.
Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to bond with your child, but it can also have unexpected effects on your sex life. Your body is still healing, your hormones fluctuating, and you are probably exhausted. Plus, your breasts are now primarily used for feeding your baby, so they may not be as available for other activities. Many new moms find that breastfeeding impacts their sex life and intimacy with their partner. But don’t worry. With some understanding, communication, and creativity, you can have a fulfilling sex life again. While it may take some time, with the right mindset and the willingness to try new things, you will be back to enjoying intimacy. The key is learning to see yourself and your body in a new, empowering way.
How Breastfeeding Impacts Sex Drive and Sex Life
Your sex life is bound to change after having a baby, and breastfeeding plays a big role in that. Nursing a baby releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which can reduce libido. Between fluctuating hormones, lack of sleep, and a demanding new baby, many new moms experience a drop in sex drive.
Soreness and leaking milk can make intimacy uncomfortable. Use nursing pads, lanolin cream for your nipples, and take things slow. Focus on cuddling, kissing and non-sexual touch at first. Don’t feel pressured to rush into intercourse. Explore other ways to be intimate like sensual massages, bathing together or mutual masturbation.
With patience and open communication, you can restore intimacy while breastfeeding. Be gentle with yourself, your body and relationship are going through big changes. Focus on bonding, set the mood, and start with what feels good. Your sex life will get back on track, though it may look a bit different. And that’s okay. This new chapter of parenthood is an adventure to embrace together.
How to Restore Intimacy
Breastfeeding can impact a new mom’s sex life and intimacy with her partner. Here are some tips to help restore intimacy:
- Focus on non-sexual intimacy first. Cuddling, hugging, kissing and massaging are great ways to stay connected physically and emotionally without the pressure of sex.
- Make time for regular date nights where you can openly talk, laugh and bond as a couple. This releases dopamine to boost your mood and desire.
- Communicate openly about your feelings, desires and challenges. Talk about how breastfeeding makes you feel, your fluctuating libido, fatigue and body image concerns. Let your partner know how they can support you. Compromise and be willing to try different approaches to find what works for you both.
- Prioritise sleep and rest when possible. Lack of sleep and exhaustion are intimacy killers. Ask family and friends for help so you can rest, and take turns at night feeding the baby when possible.
- Try alternative positions and stimulation. Breastfeeding may make some positions painful or uncomfortable, so experiment to find what feels good. Focus on foreplay, massage, manual stimulation and sex toys if desired.
- Be patient and give yourself grace. Your body and life have gone through big changes, so intimacy may look different for a while. Don’t pressure yourself to jump back into your pre-baby sex life. With time and practice, sex can become more comfortable and enjoyable again.
Making Time for Intimacy with a New Baby
Making time for intimacy with a new baby in the house can be challenging, but it’s important for new parents. When you’re breastfeeding, your body is going through many changes, and your libido may decrease for a while. But there are some tips to help you get your groove back:
Make spending quality time together a priority. Ask family or friends to watch the baby for a few hours so you can reconnect. Go out for dinner, see a movie, or just stay home and relax. Doing activities, you both enjoy will help strengthen your emotional and physical intimacy.
Take time for foreplay to enhance arousal and make sex more pleasurable. Focus on sensual touch, kissing, and oral stimulation. Lubricant can also help if needed. The more aroused and relaxed you are, the less discomfort you will feel. With regular intimacy, your libido will increase and sex will become more enjoyable again over time.
Talk openly about how you are feeling and what you both want. Discuss any anxieties you have about sex and breastfeeding. Let your partner know if anything is painful or uncomfortable.
Some positions may be more comfortable than others, especially at first. Woman on top or spooning are good options to start with. Avoid positions that put pressure on your breasts. Use pillows for extra support. As your body heals and you get more comfortable, you can try other positions.
So, there you have it, new moms. Your sex life may change for a while but that doesn’t mean it’s over. With open communication, creativity, and self-care, you can have the best of both worlds — a happy, healthy baby and a satisfying relationship with your partner. This new chapter of life is challenging but also rewarding. Stay positive, ask for help when you need it, and remember that this too shall pass. Before you know it, your baby will be sleeping through the night and you will be back to making the most of alone time with your partner.