What is the most important aspect of a relationship? Some say it is love, others might say it’s loyalty. Do you know there’s another important factor that keeps a bond healthy? It is respect. It’s the foundation of a relationship you share with someone, be it your family members, friends or a partner.

Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders in an Instagram post said that all relationships go through a rough phase, but it’s important to maintain respect throughout these testing times. She mentions that it is very important to talk about respect with your partner at the start of your relationship. She adds, “Often people have differing views on what this (respect) looks like for them.”

On the face of it, discussing this topic might feel a little awkward, but Sanders has a guideline that might help you initiate a conversation.

Firstly, find out what respect means for both of you. Next, assess what behaviour makes the two of you feel disrespected and whether they are non-negotiable. Find out what behaviour, according to them, clearly communicates or shows that they respect you. Lastly, the expert mentions one needs to revisit each other’s boundaries, needs, or limitations as well.

Emily also lists a few behaviours that are commonly considered disrespectful. According to her, “Disregarding your partner’s interests, belittling them, rolling your eyes when they’re speaking, or poking fun at things they’re self-conscious about” are signs of lack of respect in a relationship.

Further, she shares how one can show respect to their partner:

1. Speak well with your partner in front of others. Your friends or family will never respect them if you constantly talk negatively about them.
2. Be cautious of taking teasing or sarcastic comments too far. Light teasing is fun, but it should not be dragged out or mentioned in public.
3. Be gracious with your partner’s mistakes. Accept that your partner is a human who will make their share of mistakes in life.
4. Allow your partner to express their opinion. Do not try to force your ideas or beliefs on them. A difference of opinion is healthy in any relationship.
5. Listen actively when your partner is talking with you, especially when they are sharing something difficult.
6. Acknowledge their efforts and contributions to the partnership.
7. Hold awareness and compassion for your partner’s trauma or sensitive areas.
8. Offer sincere apologies when you make mistakes or hurt your partner.
9. Share what you admire about your partner.

Emily points out everything you can do to show respect in a relationship and has also added a footnote. She says, “Respect should be both given and received. Mutual respect is the ultimate foundation of any relationship.”

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